You are writing your online dating profile. The point of it is not to teach people a bunch of facts about you, but it’s to help them get to know you better. This means, don’t include facts that no one would care to hear about. Also, make sure to try and make things interesting with a bit of character in there. PRO TIP: A dating profile should make you look and sound like a great catch, but bragging about yourself isn’t hot. Instead, let another source do it for you. This technique is called “high warranting/low self-representation”, and it’s the most attractive way to approach dating profile writing.

By Joshua Pompey

If you are looking for online dating profile help, look no further. Having supervised the creation of over 20,000 profiles, it’s safe to say I probably know more about dating profiles than any man should ever know!

With over ten years worth of knowledge at my disposal, today I’d like to share some of my best online dating profile tips for attracting high quality men online. Ready? Let’s get to work!

1. The Visuals Always Come First

It’s critical to understand that men are extremely visual. Upon seeing you online, the first thing men will do is click on your photos. If there is even one weak link in your photos, or if they fail to spark attraction, men aren’t going to read your profile.

This doesn’t mean that the profile writing and the emails aren’t important. Quality men care A LOT about these as well. But they will never get to that point if your photo gallery isn’t optimized to spark attraction and build interest.

2. Professional photos lead to higher quality results

Hiring a photographer is probably the last thing you want to put on your to do list with all that you have going on. But here’s the thing… I have over ten years of data showing that professional photos combined with amateur photos, are significantly more effective. Every photo gallery needs a “best version of yourself” photo, and hiring a pro is the best way to make this happen.

With that said, you don’t have to break the bank to hire a photographer (spending 100 to 300 dollars is more than sufficient). And if you need a little help finding a great photographer, I highly recommend using flytographer.com.

3. Tell A Diverse Story With Your Photos

The best photo galleries combine professional photos with great photos that you already have (or acquire) in order to reveal different aspects of your personality. Think of each photo you post as a story about what it would be like to date you. Which stories would you want to tell most?

Would it be the stories of your adventurous side (i.e., vacation, skydiving, road trips)? Your nurturing side (i.e., family, friends, cooking)? Your athletic side (i.e., running, hiking, cycling)? The more stories you tell in your photo gallery, the more intriguing you will appear to quality men. In addition, this will create more opportunities for men to find commonalities that they can connect with. So dig through all your photos and see what you can come up with! If you need some picture taking ideas, click here

4. The Profile Writing Should Match the Diversity of the Photos

Once again, the more opportunities you give men to find commonalities with, the more likely men will want to connect with you. In addition, you will appear more interesting and fun! Combining a diverse photo gallery with dynamic profile writing is the ultimate 1-2 combination.

5. Make sure you have zero “questionable photos.”

The second a man questions anything about your profile, he will just play it safe and move on to the next one. Why take the risk when there are so many other women on dating sites? Especially when a quality man has much more options than the average man.

A questionable photo is any photo that makes a man question everything he has seen prior to that photo. In some cases, it’s a photo that is significantly less attractive than the others. In other cases, it’s a photo taken at a strange angle, causing a man to question if you are hiding something. Whatever the case may be, it’s critical to leave zero questions as to who you really are or what you really look like.

6. Have a strong hook

With so much competition online, the window to ignite a man’s interest is extremely small. For this reason, it is imperative to begin your profile with something that will instantly grab a man’s attention.

The hook can be a joke, an anecdote, something ironic, starting off by emphasizing your absolute most attractive qualities, etc.. Whatever path you choose, just remember, the first couple of lines should be your strongest!

7. Your profile should focus on you, not what you are looking for

I know, that sounds narcissistic right? But here’s the thing… guys aren’t reading your profile to find out if they are what you are looking for. They are trying to see if YOU are what THEY are looking for.

Every word of your profile should be focused on marketing why a man should be interested in you, not the other way around. If you do this properly, the qualities you are looking for in a man will be implicit, without actually having to say them. For example, if you paint the picture of a worldly, active, and compassionate woman, it will go without saying that these are the qualities you want in a partner as well. There is no need to waste space and words with these declarations.

8. Presentation is Key

You could have the greatest profile in the world, but if it’s not formatted in a manner that is easy on the eyes, nobody will read it. See how this profile is written? Your profile should follow a similar pattern.

All paragraphs should be a maximum of three sentences, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of your life.

9. Get excited! And if you aren’t, fake it!

Excitement is contagious. When quality men see a profile that paints the picture of a woman filled with enthusiasm and excitement, they get excited as well.

One of the worst mistakes I continually see is woman declaring in their profiles, “I’m not sure if online dating is for me,” or expressing that they are hesitant about meeting men online. Those types of statements don’t exactly get men lining up with excitement to message you! To learn how to start conversations with men online without looking desperate click here

10. Show some personality. This isn’t an essay!

When you write, make sure you sound like you! Have fun with it. Be playful. Show your unique voice. A lot women tend to revert back to their high school or college days, writing profiles that sound more like essays.

While it’s important to have correct spelling and grammar, as these are indicators of intelligence, that doesn’t have to come at the expense of taking the process too seriously. It’s okay to write in a manner that breaks a few conventions here and there and sounds more like a conversation. I promise, nobody will grade it!

11. Don’t tell men what you’re like, show them through your writing

While you might claim to be a funny, confident, and easy-going woman, there are another 500 profiles one click away that are all claiming the same thing. Instead of telling men what you are, show them.

If you are funny and playful, write something funny and playful in your profile. If you are confident, show this by using language that allows your confidence to ooze off the page. If you are easy-going, mention an anecdote or an aspect of your personality that communicates this. The more you show and the less you tell, the more effective your profile will be.

12. Try implementing the “humblebrag.”

While we want to highlight our best selves, we also don’t want to come across as if we are trying too hard. It should never feel as if we are trying too hard to impress.

One great way to do this is to use what I refer to as, “the humblebrag.” This is the notion of balancing out something that might be perceived as bragging, with something that pokes fun at yourself. For example, “I run a business with a team of 15 employees, yet somehow, can barely manage to cook dinner without blowing up my kitchen! Hope you like takeout! 🙂 ”

The idea is to balance a great aspect of your life with a little humility, in order to maintain that down to earth vibe.

13. Sometimes less is more

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You might rival the talents of Shakespeare himself, but if your profile is too long, nobody will read it. You must be economical with your words by saying a lot, in the least amount of space.

For example, “I’m easily excited by just about anything outdoors (hiking, cycling, beaches) but can just as easily kick back and relax with the best of them (Netflix, reading, cooking).” In an ideal profile we would have much more fun with the phrasing of these interests and would be a little less cliche, but this is an example of how you can demonstrate many interests in a small amount of words.

14. Use confident language

There is a difference between saying, “I need a man who is x, y, and z,” versus, “I’m here to meet someone who is x, y, and z.” That one subtle swap (“need to” versus “here to”) turns a woman who appears needy and demanding, into a woman who is confident and knows what she is looking for.

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Another example of this would be reversing, “I hope to meet someone who is x, y, and z” to “the right person for me would be x, y, and z.” The smallest changes can make all the difference in how confident you appear.

15. Avoid banner blindness

Banner blindness is the notion that when we see ads on computer screens, we don’t even notice them. Why? Because we are so used to spammy ads all over our websites that they don’t even register.

The same phenomenon is prevalent with online dating profiles. With an endless stream of cliche sounding profiles, quality men develop banner blindness towards profiles that don’t stand out from the crowd. It is imperative that you highlight your best qualities in ways that disrupt the pattern and avoid cliches.

Accomplishing this will be different for each individual. Some of you might be able to do so by painting the picture of an extraordinarily adventurous woman, while some of you night have positive energy that is so contagious, men will instantly feel excited at the prospect of talking to you. Whatever path you take (and the ways you can go about this are only limited to your imagination), you simply MUST avoid appearing cliche and find a way to stand out!

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