Dating App Without Sign Up

Here’s an archaic concept: dating without dating apps. Here’s an archaic, yet novel concept: I work as a professional matchmaker. And here’s the reality: there’s a burgeoning dating industry growing by the day, replete with matchmakers, dating coaches, virtual assistants and snake oil pick-up artists alike.

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Well Hello is one of the most popular dating sites in the world with around 40 million users! 48%+ Female Users. Best app for casual sex! New EliteSingles iOS App. Like all the best dating apps, ours is designed for busy singles who prefer to manage their lives while out and about. You can complete the personality test, easily upload photos and fill out your profile details, all on the go!

Although online dating presumably gives us more opportunities to meet romantic prospects than ever, more isn’t necessarily better, and the formulation of an entire industry around dating is proof of how overwhelmed the unattached populus feels navigating this unprecedentedly high volume of options. Call it the paradox of choice, call it opportunity cost, call it whatever term is sufficiently convincing: people are fucking exhausted.

Some are cursing the gods of Tinder as they madly swipe, some are relinquishing the reins of romantic search efforts to millenial Yentas like me and some are opting for the radical notion of “unplugging” their love lives from technology altogether. From Bustle’s editorial coverage of its “App-less April”challenge, to a particularly potent argument from GQ, the Internet is abuzz with musings, proposals and visions for the brighter future of an analog love life.

So, in an app-saturated dating culture, where a portfolio of both questionable and decidedly eligible singles is at our fingertips 24/7, what might an unplugged love life look like?

I can guarantee it’s worth your while to find out.

Whether you’re an all-star in the game of swipes, or an embittered participant whose bio says “no hookups!!!!!!” (which is basically the equivalent of making a Facebook status that says “no social networking”), I say unto you: it’s App-less April, bro. Don’t be a grinch. Delete your apps for a month and see what happens.

Here are some general guidelines on how to unplug, refresh and live out your dating life IRL this month, and possibly forever:

Be a Person Who Does Shit

By clearing up the time and mental clutter you’ve been using to source dates, text-court candidates and drink overpriced cocktails with strangers, you should have plenty of space this month to do the shit you like doing. You don’t necessarily have to join an interest group, finally sign up for that painting class or take on another serious obligation. Maybe you just want to go to roller derby games, read books in bed, play pool with the old regulars at the bar on your block or road trip to Memphis with your dad. And maybe you’ll meet a roller derby babe while you’re at it, or a pool shark with a James Dean flair, or maybe you’ll just have a good time doing the things you like doing. When we do stuff that compels us we build a bedrock of contentment and are less inclined to feel frustrated and jaded when budding romances don’t pan out, and more inclined to make healthy choices that don’t spring from boredom or desperation. And from an outsider’s perspective, when you’re having fun doing shit you like doing, you become a much more attractive romantic prospect.

Say 'Yes' to Invitations

When it comes to an IRL dating networking, friends of friends is where it’s at. Challenge yourself to say “yes” to invitations you might normally feel too lazy to follow through on, especially ones that might get you outside of your core network or comfort zone. Go to your coworker’s barbecue, attend the story slam series your friend runs that you always RSVP to on Facebook, “grab coffee” with the friendly acquaintance you’ve been meaning to “grab coffee” with for months. Become impeccable with your word and let it reinvigorate you with a sense of possibility. You might surprise yourself by discovering new interests, and you’ll more than likely meet some great people along the way.

Flirt with Everyone

Expectations are the only reason why starting a conversation with an attractive stranger is five hundred times more intimidating than telling an old lady in the dentist’s waiting room that you like her loafers. When we’re attracted to someone, we impose pressure on our interactions with them to have a certain outcome, which we will either read as a rejection or an indicator of mutual interest. But it doesn’t have to be an either/or. If you get in the habit of telling old ladies you like their loafers, commending librarians on their comprehensive Dickens collections and building slapstick rapports with comely bartenders, it feels far more natural to approach a sultry stranger.

Take More Risks

On dating apps, you assume that whoever you connect with is single, and is at least semi-intrigued by a two-dimensional representation of your looks. In real life, people don’t have their relationship statuses stamped on their foreheads, and you won’t know off the bat if you at least semi-intrigue them or not. IRL, you have to have to use your emotional intelligence to gauge potential interest, and you have to take small and big risks, like cracking a crass joke or asking for someone’s number, in order to create the opportunities to do so.

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This is great news! Risk-taking is vulnerable, and vulnerability opens the door to connection, intimacy, trust and a whole slew of nice relationship-y things. What you risk with inaction is leading a less-than-exciting life. What you risk with action is feeling dumb and embarrassed for a minute, realizing it’s not that big a deal and moving on. Risk-taking builds and communicates confidence, and, in case you’ve never seen a Disney Channel Original Movie, confidence is everything.

In conclusion: Dating apps are an incredible resource for introductions. It is entirely possible to build meaningful connections via apps, and it happens all the time. But when you can order dates like you order gyros from Uber Eats, it’s easy to lose patience and forget that connection and chemistry aren’t just things you either have or don’t have with someone, they're also things you build with someone through time, joint experiences, emotional investment and actually giving a fuck.

The security blanket of knowing you can go to the bathroom on a dud date, swipe a little and set up another date for tomorrow makes you less likely to approach people IRL; it shortchanges the risk, vulnerability, emotional investment and giving-a-fuck factor that actually leads to dates not being duds. When you’re matching and going out with tens of people, but the illusion-of-plentitude dating app mindset inhibits you from actually connecting, it’s easy to assume that there are no good ones left. You can shimmy out of valuing other people, and also out of valuing yourself.

By all means, use dating apps. They can result in some hilarious and fascinating lifelong stories and relationships. But use the apps, don’t let them use you. And a great place to start using apps is to stop using them for a minute in order to regain a sense of perspective: the world may be going to shit, but there are, in fact, loads of great people out there in the here and now.

If you never want to download the apps again, party on. If you do, Tinder forth. But also keep doing shit, saying yes, flirting and taking risks. As someone’s cheeky best friend said in some romantic comedy, “You never know what might happen.”

As a result there is now no end of apps with the same aim of helping you fall in Pros: A refreshingly open approach to dating in a time where many . of the highest rated profiles to the top of your feed every time you log in.
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OkCupid OkCupid has a huge dating pool, and uses a whole bunch of algorithms to find your perfect match. Basic subscription with all you need: OkCupid is a seriously hip LGBT-friendly site that has won the hearts of millennial and mature singles alike. I've said this a million times before and I'll say it again: OkCupid's advertising is outstanding. They deserve endless applause just for that, but I realize many people on dating apps care about more than the aesthetics.

Good thing OkCupid is so much more than that, taking compatibility factors into account that other sites haven't even thought of. Who it's good for: This is the place for, well, pretty much everyone who takes dating seriously, but still wants to have fun. Though OkCupid's advertisements may have 'DTF' plastered all over them, the site's intentions and matchmaking process are no joke.

We also want to mention that OkCupid and its user base is pretty liberal. The ads with same-sex couples are an obvious giveaway, but OkCupid has snuck in other little features to weed out more conservative-minded people. This can help you avoid awkward date conversations in the future.

It might take some time and genuine effort to make a profile, but that's what you want if you're looking for something real. You'll fill out a questionnaire with your answers as well as what you would like your ideal match to answer. This makes the application-building process a lot more fun than other apps, making it feel like an online quiz. It asks a range of questions, from simple stuff to if you smoke and drink to more intimate things like how many dates you typically wait before sleeping with someone. The app says the the more questions you answer, the better your matches will be.

The deeper you go, the more accurate your profile is — and in turn, OkCupid will have a way easier time finding matches for you. Also, though OkCupid has a super sturdy user base around 30 million users , variety of results won't be nearly as good if you're not in a populated area.


  • 2. Plenty of Fish.
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For city dwellers, this is fine, but singles in smaller towns may want to opt for a different AKA paid site. OkCupid is the perfect happy medium for people who don't want anything to do with trendy swiping apps, but who also don't want to feel like they're desperately looking for marriage. OkCupid genuinely wants dating to be a good experience for you, and their multi-faceted matchmaking and modern vibe help you steer clear of feeling like a loser talking to people online. Best for people looking for good chemistry. Plenty of Fish Plenty of Fish has great matchmaking technology and a large dating pool.

Though it's not the most attractive setup, Plenty of Fish is a great newbie choice for people just dipping their toes into the world of online dating. The advertising, lengthy questionnaires, and profiles are extremely traditional, making this a safe bet for non-millennials, divorcees, and single parents who are not in the mood to mess around.

Oh yeah, and its 90 million registered users beats out almost every other dating site's stats — so you're guaranteed to never get bored. This is the place where the older crowd can avoid the non-serious people and find other singles their age. Chemistry is the name of the game here, and the multiple questionnaires are no joke.

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This isn't a quick five-second set up like other apps, but that's only because Plenty of Fish truly wants you to dig deep so that they can give you the best quality matches. Not only does POF attempt to match you with people who you'll statistically get along with based on how you've both answered questions , but it also wants to match you with people who are looking for the same thing as you. In the 'meeting goals' section, you'll specify whether you're looking for something long term, looking to date but nothing serious, etc. The idea is to eliminate the awkward 'What are we' conversations and set you up for success by pairing you with people who share your priorities.

It feels like the site is geared toward people who have been unlucky with love in the past, which offers a sliver of hope to those who claim to be 'forever alone.

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EliteSingles

The desktop version's setup is possibly the most boring, thrown-together-at-the-last-minute looking thing I've ever seen. Hey, maybe they're just putting all of their focus on the matchmaking. Since the profile building takes some time, we'd suggest answering all of the questions on a desktop, but doing the actual swiping and matching on the app. POF is also not bisexual friendly, which definitely sucks.

A site with the M. If a site's janky aesthetics don't bother you, POF offers the largest variety of potential mates of all the apps on this list. Regardless of whether you're super picky with your type or have no idea what you want, there's pretty much no way you won't find a few people out of 90 million who you find interesting. Hinge Hinge offers dating features that no other app has. Hinge gives the modern feel and no-patience-required matching like Tinder, but with the relationship rather than hookup mindset that sites like eharmony or Match offer.

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Pretty much everyone is on the same page and knows that that this app isn't for sex, but there's no pressure to rush into marriage either. It's chill, it's legit, and traditional swiping apps should be worried. Hinge is the place for people who want a real relationship but don't want to commit to a full-fledged dating site with extensive questionnaires.

Hinge literally labels itself the relationship app, or as I prefer, the 'anti Tinder. While Hinge first started by showing you Facebook friends of friends, their algorithm has been getting smarter and smarter, and is now able to surpass friends of friends as a predictor of compatibility.

This means you won't be matched with someone all wrong for you simply because you know the same person. Rather, Hinge will help you get to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted, by revealing answers to juicy personality questions and detailed information like future plans, religion, and vices.

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Seems like a pretty good recipe for a strong connection past looks, right? Hinge only gives you seven matches per day, which is a slight bummer. There's a wide range of people on this app, and having a day where all seven don't interest you is a definite possibility. But Hinge isn't meant for constant swiping — and everyone I know who uses Hinge including myself hasn't ever felt the need to upgrade past the free version.

It's a step up from hookup apps but the perfect level of serious for 20 and 30 somethings who want something real, but don't need anyone asking how many kids they want just yet. Tinder Tinder is where everyone is, and the setup is easy. Free, with optional upgrades See Details. We'd look like total frauds if we didn't include Tinder. As much as we bitch about this swipe happy app, it's just too popular and works too well to leave it off the list. It has its obvious negatives, but the user friendliness, instant connecting, and massive potential match pool make it most people's first download choice when they need a quick hook up or confidence-boosting attention.

Whether you love it or think it's trash, it's going to be one of the best for the foreseeable future, and those are just facts. Tinder is place you go to find someone to flirt with ASAP.

The essence

Everyone and their mother is on Tinder, and the wide variety of people means you'll never not be able to find someone close. Tinder is great for finding a quick hookup with someone nearby where you live, and it's especially handy if you're looking for a vacation fling or a local to show you around while you're traveling. It's pretty much online dating without the commitment: You can use it when you're bored, ignore it for three weeks, and come back to find new matches and a new crowd to swipe through. This isn't to say that Tinder is only used for finding a one night stand or friends with benefits situation, though.

A lot of people are truly on Tinder to find a real relationship, and it's likely that you know at least one couple that met on Tinder if you don't, just look at these mushy Tinder success stories. Because you're making your swipe decision based on someone's photos and a tiny bio that's usually just a Parks and Recreation quote, Tinder gets a lot of shit for being superficial.

And if you're only looking for a casual encounter, this speedy, no-frills process is exactly what you want. You mean, other than the obvious fact that you'll probably get carpal tunnel from having to swipe through so many profiles? Well, there is no real matchmaking process, so Tinder will suggest literally every single person in the age range and distance radius that you set. And if you specifically opted to only see matches of the same gender, Tinder will still throw the opposite gender in there, because they apparently don't believe that you can actually just be gay.

There's a disadvantage to the whole swiping-based-on-photos thing, too: Because true matchmaking is nonexistent, that face of that hottie who you matched with might be the only thing you like about them.

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Matching based solely on physical attraction is just asking for awkward conversations, horrendous disagreements, and unsolicited dick pics down the road. You'll be lucky if you avoid being messaged something totally raunchy and uninvited, but most users are nice humans and will state their intentions in their bios. Say what you want about Tinder , but it gets the job done. Everyone shits on the shallow matching, but that fast-paced action is exactly what many young people want.

Dating App Without Sign Up Membership

If it didn't work to some extent, Tinder's user base would have gone downhill a long time ago. Love is a gamble, after all. Grindr his is the place for gay people who can't stand the heteronormativity of apps like Tinder or Bumble. Regular subscription with ads: Grindr is the world's biggest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people, helping singles get it on since Because there aren't a ton of women on it, it's usually known as the app for gay men — and at 3. Though it's kind of pegged as a hookup app, finding a lasting relationship on here isn't impossible by any means.

Just keep in mind that many users you'll come across aren't looking for anything serious. What it's good for: This is the place for gay people who can't stand the heteronormativity of apps like Tinder or Bumble, and is especially handy for those looking for a friends with benefits situation. Grindr users have no chill. It's gay paradise, y'all, and if you've been thinking that you've met every gay man in your area already, Grindr might be able to show you some newbies who you never knew existed.

Instead of swiping right or left to match, you'll get a borderline infinite collage of people who are close location wise, and honestly, it's super jumbled and scary to look at. It can be a pretty speedy process if you want it to be, and most users just looking to hook up will let you know right off that they're not trying to make small talk. However, in , Grindr launched their thoughtful LGBTQ online magazine called Into in efforts to make itself look more like a lifestyle brand and less like a hookup app.

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Grindr also announced that they're working on an option for users to notify potential partners of their STD status as a way to stop the spread of infections among dating app users particularly HIV and AIDS. They've tried this sort of thing before , but had some issues with sharing users' health information with third parties.

Overall, their hearts are in the right place, and I commend them for trying to promote the importance of safe sex. You're also going to get badgered for pictures as well, so if you're uncomfortable with that, steer clear for a while.

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2. eharmony

Grindr is hookup heavy. It's nice that most users are honest about their intentions AKA no feelings mixups , but people looking for a serious relationship might get discouraged. We're not quite saying this a downside, because for those who strictly want to hook up, this is heaven. It's just something to keep in mind. If you're a gay man, an app that's specifically for you is your place to shine. There are obviously gay men on Tinder, Match, and many other dating apps, but that's probably their backup app, and you're likely to circle through the same batch.